OBX highway maintenance workers were sent out to repair road
signs that had been knocked down.
The first sign they repaired was a "deer crossing".
As they moved to the next sign, one of the workers looked back
and saw a deer crossing the street.
"I wonder how long it's been waiting to cross?" he commented.
author - unknown
signs that had been knocked down.
The first sign they repaired was a "deer crossing".
As they moved to the next sign, one of the workers looked back
and saw a deer crossing the street.
"I wonder how long it's been waiting to cross?" he commented.
author - unknown
It was a hot and sultry July day on the Outer Banks
in 1970.
A visitor walking up to a convenience store for some
refreshments, sees a cash register attendant hanging
a sign written on a piece of beach wood, that said
"Beware of the Dog" .
Next to the sign, he sees an old Basset Hound asleep and
twitching in his dreams.
The visitor asked the attendant "Is that sign for the Basset
Hound?"
"Yup, that's for 'Flash'." replied the attendant.
"But, your Flash doesn't look dangerous". The visitor remarked.
"Why put up a warning?"
"Well.... " replied the register attendant. "See mister, the last 2
visitors that come into this store fell over Flash and hurt
themselves."
author - unknown
in 1970.
A visitor walking up to a convenience store for some
refreshments, sees a cash register attendant hanging
a sign written on a piece of beach wood, that said
"Beware of the Dog" .
Next to the sign, he sees an old Basset Hound asleep and
twitching in his dreams.
The visitor asked the attendant "Is that sign for the Basset
Hound?"
"Yup, that's for 'Flash'." replied the attendant.
"But, your Flash doesn't look dangerous". The visitor remarked.
"Why put up a warning?"
"Well.... " replied the register attendant. "See mister, the last 2
visitors that come into this store fell over Flash and hurt
themselves."
author - unknown
A OBX Real Estate broker was on his
death bed in hospital.
A friend came to visit.
The broker asked his friend for a favor.
"Of course." Said his friend. "What can
I do?"
"When I die, please have me cremated."
"Okay." Said his friend. "What do you want me to do with your
ashes?"
"Ah." Said the broker. "Put them in a box with a note saying 'now
you have everything' and send them to the IRS.
author - unknown
death bed in hospital.
A friend came to visit.
The broker asked his friend for a favor.
"Of course." Said his friend. "What can
I do?"
"When I die, please have me cremated."
"Okay." Said his friend. "What do you want me to do with your
ashes?"
"Ah." Said the broker. "Put them in a box with a note saying 'now
you have everything' and send them to the IRS.
author - unknown
It was tax time and a Kill Devil Hills business owner went to see
his accountant.
She asked how many dependents he had.
"Twelve." He replied.
The accountant replied. "Sorry, would you care to repeat that?"
"Not if I can help it." He answered.
author - unknown
his accountant.
She asked how many dependents he had.
"Twelve." He replied.
The accountant replied. "Sorry, would you care to repeat that?"
"Not if I can help it." He answered.
author - unknown
Every year the Outer Banks has a 10k run. During one race ...
The runners all lined up and started as usual.
Many of the runners were fit and some were not.
The two last runners were heard to say...
guy next to last - looking back said "What's it like to be last?"
last guy "Let me know, I'm dropping out!" and did.
author - unknown
The runners all lined up and started as usual.
Many of the runners were fit and some were not.
The two last runners were heard to say...
guy next to last - looking back said "What's it like to be last?"
last guy "Let me know, I'm dropping out!" and did.
author - unknown
Two women were in Ocean Sands, Corolla.
They were walking around the lake on their way
to the beach when a frog called out to them and
said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a
curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss
me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”
One woman grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her purse.
The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear him? If you kiss him, he’
ll turn into a real estate broker!”
The second woman replied, “Sure, but these days a talking frog
is worth more than a real estate broker!”
author -
unknown
They were walking around the lake on their way
to the beach when a frog called out to them and
said: “Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a
curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss
me, I’ll be returned to my former state!”
One woman grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her purse.
The other woman said, “Didn’t you hear him? If you kiss him, he’
ll turn into a real estate broker!”
The second woman replied, “Sure, but these days a talking frog
is worth more than a real estate broker!”
author -
unknown
A man was walking along the beach in Corolla and
stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and
rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp.
This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little
sick of these wishes so you can forget about 3 ... You
only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've
always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get
very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible ! Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom
of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel !
No, think of another wish."
The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My
wives always say that I don't care and that I'm insensitive."
"So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel
inside, and what they're thinking when they give me the silent
treatment. Know why they're crying, know what they really want
when they say 'nothing', I'd like to know how to make them truly
happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or
four?"
author - unknown
stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and
rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp.
This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little
sick of these wishes so you can forget about 3 ... You
only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've
always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get
very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible ! Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom
of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete, how much steel !
No, think of another wish."
The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My
wives always say that I don't care and that I'm insensitive."
"So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel
inside, and what they're thinking when they give me the silent
treatment. Know why they're crying, know what they really want
when they say 'nothing', I'd like to know how to make them truly
happy."
The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or
four?"
author - unknown
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and
asks for a loan. She says she's going to the Outer
Banks for a vacation for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will
need some kind of security for the loan, so the
woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce ...
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the
title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the
car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the woman for using an
expensive new Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the
bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest which was $16. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you
were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is… why would you bother to
borrow $5,000?"
The woman replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $16 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
author - unknown
asks for a loan. She says she's going to the Outer
Banks for a vacation for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will
need some kind of security for the loan, so the
woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce ...
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the
title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the
car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all enjoy a good laugh at the woman for using an
expensive new Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the
bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest which was $16. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are
very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has
worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you
were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is… why would you bother to
borrow $5,000?"
The woman replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my
car for two weeks for only $16 and expect it to be there when I
return?"
author - unknown
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for
over ten years sees
an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the
possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead
gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long
has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on
her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh
man! Is that good!!!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"
she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and
hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's
absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that
runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man
seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've
had some real fun?"
With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh
good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
author - unknown
over ten years sees
an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the
possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead
gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long
has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on
her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh
man! Is that good!!!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?"
she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and
hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's
absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that
runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man
seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've
had some real fun?"
With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh
good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
author - unknown
A man was stopped by a Fisheries Inspector on the beach in
Nags Head. He had two buckets of fish.
The Inspector asked the man: "Do you have a license to
catch those fish?"
The man replied to the Inspector : "No, sir. These are my pet
fish."
"Pet fish?!" the Inspector replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the ocean and
let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump
back into their buckets, and I take them home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the Inspector for a moment and then said:
"Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the Inspector replied.
The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and
waited.
After several minutes, the Inspector turned to the man and
said: "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?" the Inspector
prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.
author Unknown
Nags Head. He had two buckets of fish.
The Inspector asked the man: "Do you have a license to
catch those fish?"
The man replied to the Inspector : "No, sir. These are my pet
fish."
"Pet fish?!" the Inspector replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the ocean and
let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump
back into their buckets, and I take them home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the Inspector for a moment and then said:
"Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the Inspector replied.
The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and
waited.
After several minutes, the Inspector turned to the man and
said: "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?" the Inspector
prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.
author Unknown
A young sailor was sitting in a bar on the Outer Banks having a few drinks when
he looks over and sees a pirate.
The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye.
Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”
“I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a darn shark
bit off me whole dang leg!”
“Amazing !” said the sailor. “What about the hook, how’d you get that?”
“Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of the enemy cut off me
darn arm!”
“Absolutely incredible!” gasped the sailor. “And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?”
“I was looking up and a dang seagull dropping fell into me eye,” replied the pirate.
“Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” asked the sailor, puzzled.
Well, the pirate said “It was me first day with the hook.”
author - unknown
he looks over and sees a pirate.
The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye.
Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”
“I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a darn shark
bit off me whole dang leg!”
“Amazing !” said the sailor. “What about the hook, how’d you get that?”
“Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of the enemy cut off me
darn arm!”
“Absolutely incredible!” gasped the sailor. “And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?”
“I was looking up and a dang seagull dropping fell into me eye,” replied the pirate.
“Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” asked the sailor, puzzled.
Well, the pirate said “It was me first day with the hook.”
author - unknown
